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Back in Jersey…

March 26, 2007

… and trying adjust to life back in the States; it’s way harder than I expected. Life seems somehow much lazier, and yet way busier than I remember — and with so many things that really don’t feel like they matter. Still, I’m so looking forward to the joy of wedding #2 in April. Returning to life with this incredible, smart, silly, loving man I share my life with is certainly easing the transition; lessoning the sting of the intense missing. In so many ways, Delhi felt like home.

Lately, my posts here have been few and far between. Time and technology kept me from sharing everything that Iindiadamon-061.jpg wanted to in real time, and what I was able to share is only a tiny fraction of my experience. So many things I never had time to write about, so many incredible sites that weren’t able to be photographed, and so many days of wonder and horror and beauty and sorrow and vitality that I could never quite figure out how to put down in words. And now, the pace and concerns of western living seems to layer guilt and feelings of self-indulgence over everything when I try to put aside time to keep processing the experience and write about India. Ah, well. I think I’ll keep going with this site for a while, because there are things I still want to include, get down on “paper”, and try to find a way share. There are things I’m still trying to understand and things that need working out — writing seems to help.

A Word on Content… for weeks now, I’ve worried that my posts here were starting to look like a festive travelogue, what with the dress-up, the holiday, the wedding, the site-seeing, and general merriment. It’s true thatindia-416.jpg untold amounts of fun were had, that the celebrating of anything and everything in India is truly an art form and that I dove in head-first. But I went there for service and that service was the center of everything. So many of you supported me as I worked towards that goal — emotionally and practically with both your enthusiasm and your financial contributions. I started this site as my way to connect with you, and to connect you with the work that I was doing, and the experience that your generosity made possible. Oh, the irony, when it turned out the hardest thing to do was to write about the work itself. The biggest and most important piece of this past month, and yet there’s barely anything here about my days at Mother Teresa’s. I’m acutely aware of that, but am not sure how fill in the gaps. Weeks later, I’m still trying to take it all in and find way to talk about it. Maybe with some time and distance, I’ll be able to offer some more on that front. I’ll keep trying. As always, I’m so grateful for your interest, indulgence, enthusiasm, and bear-hug-like support. I’m a lucky girl. More soon…

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